Rabbi’s forum
Our community suffered a big loss in
May. As many of you know, Evelyn Helpert passed away.
Many of you may not recognize that name, but I am willing to bet that you all
know who Evelyn was. Evelyn was, for many years, the volunteer who stood at the
lobby door on Friday nights passing out flowers and registering our guests. In
so many ways, Evelyn was the “face” of our congregation. She was the first
person many people saw when they visited TSS.
She had been a member here for many
years, and knew much of our congregational and community history. She had been
a volunteer without peer, and was even a former Sisterhood “Woman of the Year.”
She will be missed for many reasons, not least of which was her smile and warm
embrace.
Part of what made her passing so
difficult for many was the fact that she had left no clear indication of what
her wishes were. No one in her family knew where she wished to be buried, or if
cremation was something that she desired. If she had made any pre-arrangements
with a local funeral home, no one knew. It took a few days for her family to
arrive, and then have to start making the difficult decisions, made that much
more so by the immediacy of the need. Fortunately, plans were made, and Evelyn
was laid to rest.
It made me think, however, of writing
this very-long-overdue message to all of you. I know that no one likes to think
of making final arrangements. However, death is very much a part of life, and
while we shouldn't dwell on it, neither should we put off planning either.
Take a moment sometime, perhaps over the
summer, to communicate with your family and loved ones what your wishes are. If
you have the wherewithal, make your own arrangements. I have seen firsthand how
much simpler it is for families who have pre-need funeral plans; one phone call
and almost everything is done for you and your loved ones.
Also, let me suggest that if you don't
have any close family here, please let ME know what your plans are. If I know
that someone has pre-need arrangements with any of the fine local funeral homes
and cemeteries, it may very well save time and needless worry on the part of
loved ones.
As a final note, let me say this. May it
be a long time before we need to worry about any of this.
Have a wonderful summer.
Shalom,
Rabbi
Fratello
Updated
5/27/10